The Big 21
So I have now turned the big 21...scary thoughts are settling in as this age has a certain sense of maturity surrounding it, it's like being given the official adulthood status, and that you have to be a responsible human being who has their shit together.
I thought in the lead-up to this big birthday, I would write a list of all of the life lessons I have learned so far in my little life.
FRIENDSHIPS
Not all friendships last forever. For some people, this may already be an obvious thing to know, however if you struggle to let things/people go then this can be a particularly hard lesson to learn. Over the last 5 years, I have experienced friendships come and go, due to people's lives moving in different directions, leaving school, people didn't end up being who I thought they were, the list goes on. Personally, I used to really struggle with the idea of letting go, I had a series of friends who I believed would be around for the rest of my life, which I can now see was very naive. People change, and sometimes that can be a bad thing, and shit can kick off. I have had a few friendships end due to dramas where people show their true colours, and you realise that actually, you don't want to be around those people anymore.
I also think it is important to know that when it comes to friends, it is absolutely a 'quality not quantity' situation that you should have. Being in this generation of everyone living their lives through social media, where a lot of people use it as a platform to show off their large groups of friends etc., it is very easy to put pressure on yourself and end up feeling really down about the fact that you're not out there doing what they're doing. Honestly, it isn't all about having a huge group of mates, or winning a popularity contest, it is about having friends you can totally be yourself with, that you can trust, and have a good laugh with. I would say that I consider myself to have a small group of close friends, and my best mate who I've known for 15 years and that is all I need. I have friends that are all very different and open my eyes to new and amazing things all the time, and I love them all.
As you go through different walks of life, you will meet new people and make new friends along the way, the friends that do stick are the ones that still make an effort to contact you when you move onto something new, and don't just let your friendship fade away. My best mate and I could not be more different in our career choices and some of our hobbies, but we both love each other so much and support each other through everything, and that's what makes a friendship special.
SELF LOVE
It is so important to be happy with yourself. I try to tell myself this everyday, because I know that it is right, however it is still hard to actually believe. Everyone is beautiful, everyone is important, yet, everyone seems to struggle with accepting this about themselves. Well, not everyone, but I do think a lot of us struggle to fully be confident in who we are.
It seems that we all judge each other on our self confidence, and people who are confident seem to be labelled as 'full of themselves' and that shouldn't be a bad thing. We should all be able to get to that point in life where we are comfortable in our personality and how we look. It shouldn't matter to anyone else who you are, and the people in your life should be people who love and support you. Don't let anyone tell you any different than you are amazing, and staying true to yourself is the most important thing.
RELATIONSHIPS
It is really important that whatever situation that you're in, you are happy.
It is easy to let people you love treat you in a way that they shouldn't, and sometimes, it can be almost undetectable when you love that person so much. You have to put yourself first in whatever happens, and if you realise that you are not truly happy, or you think that you deserve to be treated better, you need to action it.
I love my boyfriend to pieces, and sometimes its easy, sometimes its not.
We've been together for 3 and a half years and we are watching each other grow and change, which is great but it can also put a strain on things. We have had some struggles, for several reasons, we both have our own personal struggles which obviously has an impact on our relationship. We have had several discussions about what is best for each of us and what makes us unhappy, and we work on that. However, if you are in a situation where those discussions aren't even approachable, if you feel you can't speak whatever's on your mind freely to that person, and if you're worried about their reactions, that isn't ideal for you.
Do not put yourself on the line for someone that doesn't appreciate you, you are better than that.
Obviously, no relationship is struggle free, whats the point of having something that you don't work hard for? But the important thing to consider is; Am I happy? Do they have my best interests at heart? Do they support me? Is this worth my energy?
Remember, the most important person to love, is you.
PUSH YOURSELF
Something else that I have learned overtime is that if you want something, you have to push yourself to get it.
A strong example of this for me is that I have anxiety that I suffer with on a daily basis, and if I let it fully consume me, then I wouldn't get out of bed every morning. Looking back to about 5 years ago, there are so many things that I couldn't even dream of doing that I now do on a daily basis, I have come a long way. The only reason that I have gotten to this point is through pushing myself everyday, ignoring the voice in my head and making myself get through things that I am scared to do.
Happiness and confidence is achievable, you just have to make yourself go out there and grab it. Work hard and you will succeed!
There you have it, a tiny bit of wisdom for ya. In all seriousness, it is important in whatever you do, to put yourself first. Do not let anyone take that away from you. Love ya self for who you are.
I thought in the lead-up to this big birthday, I would write a list of all of the life lessons I have learned so far in my little life.
FRIENDSHIPS
Not all friendships last forever. For some people, this may already be an obvious thing to know, however if you struggle to let things/people go then this can be a particularly hard lesson to learn. Over the last 5 years, I have experienced friendships come and go, due to people's lives moving in different directions, leaving school, people didn't end up being who I thought they were, the list goes on. Personally, I used to really struggle with the idea of letting go, I had a series of friends who I believed would be around for the rest of my life, which I can now see was very naive. People change, and sometimes that can be a bad thing, and shit can kick off. I have had a few friendships end due to dramas where people show their true colours, and you realise that actually, you don't want to be around those people anymore.
I also think it is important to know that when it comes to friends, it is absolutely a 'quality not quantity' situation that you should have. Being in this generation of everyone living their lives through social media, where a lot of people use it as a platform to show off their large groups of friends etc., it is very easy to put pressure on yourself and end up feeling really down about the fact that you're not out there doing what they're doing. Honestly, it isn't all about having a huge group of mates, or winning a popularity contest, it is about having friends you can totally be yourself with, that you can trust, and have a good laugh with. I would say that I consider myself to have a small group of close friends, and my best mate who I've known for 15 years and that is all I need. I have friends that are all very different and open my eyes to new and amazing things all the time, and I love them all.
As you go through different walks of life, you will meet new people and make new friends along the way, the friends that do stick are the ones that still make an effort to contact you when you move onto something new, and don't just let your friendship fade away. My best mate and I could not be more different in our career choices and some of our hobbies, but we both love each other so much and support each other through everything, and that's what makes a friendship special.
SELF LOVE
It is so important to be happy with yourself. I try to tell myself this everyday, because I know that it is right, however it is still hard to actually believe. Everyone is beautiful, everyone is important, yet, everyone seems to struggle with accepting this about themselves. Well, not everyone, but I do think a lot of us struggle to fully be confident in who we are.
It seems that we all judge each other on our self confidence, and people who are confident seem to be labelled as 'full of themselves' and that shouldn't be a bad thing. We should all be able to get to that point in life where we are comfortable in our personality and how we look. It shouldn't matter to anyone else who you are, and the people in your life should be people who love and support you. Don't let anyone tell you any different than you are amazing, and staying true to yourself is the most important thing.
RELATIONSHIPS
It is really important that whatever situation that you're in, you are happy.
It is easy to let people you love treat you in a way that they shouldn't, and sometimes, it can be almost undetectable when you love that person so much. You have to put yourself first in whatever happens, and if you realise that you are not truly happy, or you think that you deserve to be treated better, you need to action it.
I love my boyfriend to pieces, and sometimes its easy, sometimes its not.
We've been together for 3 and a half years and we are watching each other grow and change, which is great but it can also put a strain on things. We have had some struggles, for several reasons, we both have our own personal struggles which obviously has an impact on our relationship. We have had several discussions about what is best for each of us and what makes us unhappy, and we work on that. However, if you are in a situation where those discussions aren't even approachable, if you feel you can't speak whatever's on your mind freely to that person, and if you're worried about their reactions, that isn't ideal for you.
Do not put yourself on the line for someone that doesn't appreciate you, you are better than that.
Obviously, no relationship is struggle free, whats the point of having something that you don't work hard for? But the important thing to consider is; Am I happy? Do they have my best interests at heart? Do they support me? Is this worth my energy?
Remember, the most important person to love, is you.
PUSH YOURSELF
Something else that I have learned overtime is that if you want something, you have to push yourself to get it.
A strong example of this for me is that I have anxiety that I suffer with on a daily basis, and if I let it fully consume me, then I wouldn't get out of bed every morning. Looking back to about 5 years ago, there are so many things that I couldn't even dream of doing that I now do on a daily basis, I have come a long way. The only reason that I have gotten to this point is through pushing myself everyday, ignoring the voice in my head and making myself get through things that I am scared to do.
Happiness and confidence is achievable, you just have to make yourself go out there and grab it. Work hard and you will succeed!
There you have it, a tiny bit of wisdom for ya. In all seriousness, it is important in whatever you do, to put yourself first. Do not let anyone take that away from you. Love ya self for who you are.
That's a beautiful piece of writing x it's taken me years to work out some of the things you've already learnt. I've always felt you'd go far & you are on your way! Keep going and also enjoy today ❤
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